Archive for the ‘Matches’ Category

Thank you Stephen Warnock (oh and Liverpool 4 - 0 Blackburn)

Sunday, April 12th, 2009

In this week of commemoration, there will be many gestures and comments and emotional moments, but there can’t be many better ways to start than the presentation of a wreath from the opposing team carried by an ex Liverpool player.

Blackburn’s Stephen Warnock carried a wreath with 96 on it and laid it at the foot of the Kop to massive and deserved applause.

There followed an immaculately observed minute’s silence followed by us beating them 4-0.

But that doesn’t really matter does it. When Alan Hansen’s eyes welled up on MOTD, 20 years on the memories still fresh, you know where the real issues lie.

It will be a long and hard week and sadly many will use the anniversary as emotional currency portraying just how grief stricken and angry they are, but the simple fact remains, in this week, we should all pause and be grateful it wasn’t us, be angry at the continued injustice and send our heartfelt wishes to the bereaved families.

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Benny and the Reds.. apologies to Elton.. Fulham0 - 1 Liverpool

Saturday, April 4th, 2009

Now Mr E. John formerly chair of Watford Football Club obviously had another London club in his heart but tonight I’d like to dedicate Benny and the Jets to Yossi, from a London club, scoring for us against another one, whilst Super Dan got taken off and 4 ex-Everton players came on to try and stop us winning the game the mancs couldn’t. And they nearly did.

The woodwork was hit more times than Big Frank was v Tyson (or insert a more up to date boxing analogy here) and Torres seemed to make his shot destined first for the corner flag then the goal then the post as if time and space and the bits in between were bent according to some arcane rule..

I thought and so did Radio 5 (and many of us I don’t doubt) that it was going to be “…one of those days…” and we’ve all seen them at Anfield. My first one was when we drew to Sunderland years ago, well a few, 0-0 and Sunderland and the goalie of the time (Jaaskalinen? can’t remember) had the game of his life.

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But we won and I’ll take that and now dig out my I love Villa t-shirt and put it on a passer by. What you think I’d wear claret? Get to…

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Manchester United 1-4 Liverpool - who put Luis Garcia into Dossena's body?

Saturday, March 14th, 2009

Well I’m normally more nervous than a fat fish weighed down by something heavy in a hungry pirhana pool when it comes to the Utd games, especially at Old Trafford, so today as per, I decided to stay in and listen to on the radio.

But I needn’t have been. Just as at Anfield, they scored first but we won. And no, we didn’t play wonderfully, or rip them apart but we did something just as lovely as how we played against Madrid, we did what they’ve done to many teams, we played not so well but took our chances and beat them.

And Sir Alex was right, the scoreline didn’t reflect the game. But guess what Fergy? IT REFLECTS THE FUCKING SCORE THOUGH!!!!!!!!

The omens weren’t good, Arbeloa injured in the warm up, Carra at his not so favoured right back, Sami, slower these days, playing with Skrtel in CB and a very very shaky Reina in goal. And an early dodgy pen for Ronaldo to tuck away.

But we are different these days, even if our doom mongering fans aren’t. And yes I can doom with the best of them.

But no, we came back and scored 4 goals, Torres’ one opportunistic but that’s why you pay the money, Gerrard’s a clear pen, Fabio’s fab and Dossena’s hilarious. Hilarious cos we can all imagine Luis Garcia lobbing so sweetly, but chunky Doss? Nope, not me either, and it was perfectly taken, and expertly too… Van de Saar stood helpless.

Sweet result. Will it change the title? Maybe not, but the double over Chelsea and Man Utd in the same season, happy fucking days, happy fucking days.

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Dear LFC Player.

Sunday, March 1st, 2009

arrrgggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhforfuckssakearrrrrrrrrrggggghhhhhhhhhhhh

That was my reaction as the bitter pill of frustration once again rose and stuck in my craw.

Because once again not only have we not done it, but that pompous set of twats from along the East Lancs Road are gloating and we’ve fucking helped them every bastard step.

So dear player.

I know you are distanced from us by pay, perhaps land of birth and certainly cultural understanding. Well most of you. But I also know, or at least expect, that you know a little of our club, the way we try to do things and what we as the fans go through.

Like my teacher who said “I don’t care if we’re here til 5pm I still get paid”, win or lose, you still go home in your very posh car with a stack full of cash.

But win or lose, we go home with a different set of rewards. Perhaps infinitely more precious than a £ note, especially when we win. It’s called feelings.

And right now you are crushing my very soul and ruining those feelings, and sending me home sad, weary and frustrated at the seeming inability to do the job you’re being paid for.

I know matches go one way and the other, I know of course, its not all your fault blah blah blah.. but at the end of the match I want you to go to the dressing room knowing that you in your heart, tried your fucking 140% best to be a Liverpool player for that 90 odd minutes.

If you don’t know what that means, why are you with us. And if you do, its not much to ask is it?

Waiting.

Saturday, February 21st, 2009

So we’re waiting, waiting for the city game to kick off, for the rest of the season to kick off, for the ‘business end’ of the season to kick off (as if August til now was just messing about?).The international break where we hope our internationals don’t break anything has meant a bit of hanging about, waiting for the resumption of festivities in the pursuit of a title for us.It’s weird, as if we’ve all been given a day or two off, time for the heart to slow down, for the wallet to recover and for the mind to clear, for the weary to rest, and that’s just us… It’s like everything stopped for a bit, and now, now we’re off again tomorrow.Or rather City are off to us for a visit. Two teams who have one thing in common, we both hate the other team in Manchester, the vainglorious braggarts and pompous tosh of Trafford.Utd are waiting too. Waiting to equal our record. We’re waiting. Waiting for another title in this new costume of the Premier League. Citeh are waiting. For all those shiny nuggets plugged into the puggy (fruit machine) to reap a three bells and handsome cash reward. Or at least a trip to another foreign clime. It’s a Given that we’ll find them tough to beat, but we need to. Without Gerrard, Xabi’s beard and Robbie Keane (a distant foggy dream now…)Anyway at least there’ll be no more waiting and typing of blog’s about waiting. 

Portsmouth 2- Liverpool 3: Reeves’ banner is so true still…

Saturday, February 7th, 2009

The big guns that used to sit at the port’s mouth protecting the town in the past, today sat on the bench and waited to fire at the Easter Island Head that is Tony Adams…

Torres, Alonso, his beard, and Kuyt of all bloody people (Dirk, a big gun?) came off the bench and won it for us. Phew…

Now there is a famous Liverpool banner which states The distance between Genius and Insanity is only measured by success, and Reeves banner was the perfect flag to fly today.

Cos if we’d have lost or drawn this game, Rafa would’ve looked mad, (he was bloody furious after the 2nd Portsmouth goal), most of us were agog at Ngog starting up front and I certainly cast my mind back to Reading last year where the team selection cost us dear.

But if we won, how clever would Benitez look at resting the weary and playing a team capable of handling a Portsmouth team abject against Fulham.

But they scored twice, Ted Nugent, belying his age (and who’d a thought a Californian conceptual rocker would’ve been an Evertonian) scored and taunted the Liverpool fans.

Well Nugent, just like your beloved blue team Evershit (Mind you, Portsmouth will soon be the closest team that play in blue to Liverpool soon) you are a small minded arse.

And I have to be honest, I could not imagine us scoring from the back pass free kick, these things never pan out, 47 players lining the goal and most of them on top of the taker by the time the indirect bit has been done, but Justin Timberlake popped up and scored a belter.

As did Dirk and Fernando.

So top of the league and a tricky trip negotiated. Meanwhile Gerrard rests, Rafa rages and Nugent can fuck off the twat.

ITV 1 - Kirby Wanderers 0

Thursday, February 5th, 2009

So Michael made the Grade and did us all a favour by ignoring tactics and going for tictacs at the crucial moment and cutting away from Everton’s goal to an advert for the white mints..

I, living in Scotland, and not paying for Santana to do his magic, didn’t get the match on telly, cos STV somehow have come to some arcane agreement with Setanta to not show the FA Cup up here. So I watched it on the internet and thought how odd it should cut to a break then. Of course, flicking over to Radio 5 which was about a minute later, the goal had already been scored…

I felt like Marty McFly in Back to the Future III, with Moyes playing the part of any ol arsehole actually cos he’s a moany twat.  Yes I know there’s no clever reference to the film, but he is.

Anyway Gerrard wanted to nip home and build a snowman, and Torres isn’t back to his best and Xabi’s beard is influencing his passing in a bad way and we had Lucas the liability once again turning a match on his own… The boy from Brazil astounds me with his ignorance of the game, talented yes, but clueless too. Wigan and Everton… any team ending in n frankly, he fucks up in…

Anyway we’re out the cup and Gerrard wants 3 weeks off and we’re playing up Pompey early evening Saturday. Should be enough time for ITV to work out how to switch the auto advert machine off. Though they did me a big favour last night…

Real Madrid v Liverpool FC

Friday, December 19th, 2008

So, we are to play the Real thing.. the galaticos, the men in white, ‘the most famous club in the world’ according to some UEFA official.

Well, it was about time. If the Champions League is about big teams with real pedigree and history meeting each other, you can stuff utd, and Barca, they don’t come bigger than this.

But dear Real, here’s a word of caution for you.

We play at yours first. At big scary stadium in Spain, ooh… But wait, what’s this… you have to come back to ours. To Anfield. You think you’ve got atmosphere? You think you’ve got noise? Wait til you show up. No matter what the first leg score, no matter how much you think you know football grounds, no matter what people tell you, you are gonna be blown away by the noise when you walk onto our pitch. Our pitch.

This is Anfield. This is real support. Ask John Terry. See you there.

Peter Crouch, he’s big, he’s blue, his legs are 8 foot 2…

Friday, October 31st, 2008

Liverpool 1 - Portsmouth 0

So the demented teddy bear that is ‘Arry Redknapp didn’t bring his team up, leaving them for a bigger team, Spurs, and left Tony Adams, or Big Chief Massive Nose, to stamp his authority on the team by leaving out Defoe, giving Peter no-one to head the ball onto…

Anyway we won, it was difficult but we absolutely deserved it, and if you want a match report, piss off to the Echo. Instead, here’s my thoughts…

Papa Bupa Lemon Drop -wtf? 72 ft tall and went down like a lady of the night on a banker at Christmas… elbowed Ryan clearly in the head then clutched his own like it had been hit by a demolition ball and rolled around on the floor til he just managed to get to the sidelines before dying coming straight back on. Twat. At least he proved karma exists by pushing Sami and handballing giving us in the Kop a potential heartattack by letting Stevie G take a penalty. But even though David James went the right way, he scored, we went mad and apart from a wobbly last few minutes, we get a very valuable three points against a defensively organised team.

Speaking of men’s model, the nintendo king, D James, got and gave us a good round of applause, but only after high 10′ing every single Portsmouth player which took about 3 minutes up. Tip - don’t keep the Kop waiting too long, or you’ll get pelters…

And it was nice to see Peter, if only to realise how we’ve moved on. Like an ugly ex, seeing them makes us realise we’ve got better and whilst he deserved his applause and chant, and it was nice to see him, I wish him all the best, now he’s not with us, and we don’t miss him.

Gerrard got subbed, Alonso hit shots so wide they nearly hit the cctv van outside and the Kop were quiet and loud in varying degrees, whilst Pompey’s 24 fans who’d come up, sang that shit song quite loud, and nothing else.

12 hours up the road to see one up the front and 12 hours back down one nil down. I admire them for taking that trip. How long will they travel with Tony? who gives a fuck, it’s Portsmouth and we’re Liverpool. Right Harry, you can run but you can’t hide, see you Saturday you nodding ‘Churchill Dog’ of a manager.

Fabric Flags and real fans, Chelsea 0 - 1 Liverpool

Sunday, October 26th, 2008

I support a club where they don’t give out plastic flags and ask the fans to sing, where the owners are also foreign, but unwelcome but a club where the history is long and the times good.

But 86 games unbeaten at home is a very very good record. The kind of record we used to have at ‘Fortress Anfield’ but Stamford Bridge was finally crossed and poor old Chelsea lost.

a ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha fuck you Chelsea ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Sorry, back to where we are. Yes, every club needs it defensive rock, the dyed in the wool I’ll die at the club player who epitomises that club.

Now, Manchester Utd have Gary Neville, we have Carra, Chelsea have amazingly not John Terry who tends to cry at drumbeat of Eastenders, but Ashley Cole who gets wound up when things go wrong.

Not in the home obviously, he’s too busy shagging, letting Cheryl do that, but on the pitch. He was shouting and bawling and throwing his toys out the expensively bought pram.

How bad is that. To have Ashley Cole as the player-that-cares. Chelsea for me were an old school violent club that were in the first division and Peter Osgood played for them. But this bunch of fancy dans, directed by Gene Hackman are actually a bloody good team. With spirit and neat play and never say die attitude, but where was Frankie boy, John Terry, the artful Deco. ?

Yes they nearly scored but so did we, ooh Xabi’s free kick, Gerrard’s shot and er Dirk Kuyt’s skite.. And we defended well and Reira looked like a player playing for the shirt not the cheque…

Robbie Keane needs to sharpen up but whilst I was nervous as a badger in a TB-ridden farm with a drunk party of sharpshooting farmers, what a smashing day.

What a smashing fucking day.

I support a club who means something to me. And today meant the world. Ha haaaaaa… PS Chelsea, on the same points as Hull City I see.