Archive for March, 2008

What a difference a week makes…. Liverpool 1 - Everdusting the empty trophy cabinet 0

Monday, March 31st, 2008

Its sunny and we won the derby. Oh, yeah we won both.  Imagine (put on husky female voice) taking six points in an away controversial match and a home match where Everton never really got going… imagine taking six points from the second ugliest team in the league( Utd have that distinction), imagine seeing Gollum gulp as once again the team in blue are singing the blues…

This isn’t any old gloating, this is derby gloating…

People say that derbies aren’t for the football purist. Well damn right they’re not, they shouldn’t be. They should be attritional warfare, of interest only to the fans of the teams involved. Liverpool v Everton is for the fans of the teams, the build up, the game the pub after, not your artisan analysis.

And personally I only like these matches if we win. Which we did. And almost as sweet as the 3-0 earlier this season (didn’t think I wasn’t going to mention it do you?). Because yesterday Everton were beaten fair and square. Yakubu (84 points on a scrabble board) looked less likely to track back and get back towards the Everton goal than Reina did..

In fact the only time he got the ball he fell towards it tumbling, diving, falling like the death of a tree in a forest. Sami meanwhile had arrived half way through the fall, cleared the ball and headed off for a cup of Finnish tea, in fact he’d washed up and had a sauna by the time Yakky landed.

Torres scored, Everton bored, their fans ignored, the Kop roared.

Say all you like, but its not about 4th, its about pride in the city, pride of the derby and we won. Both. Did I mention that already?

Right now, some thoughts on the upside down world we live in…

Wednesday, March 26th, 2008

This week has made me laugh at the sweet irony of life, there’s Masch, doing what Gerrard should’ve done and gone over to see why Torres was booked for having the nerve to be persistently fouled by the ugliest team to play football since the Ogre’s Under 12’s hockey team won the Gargoyle Cup in 1265, and he gets sent off because earlier in the week Mike Riley wimped out of showing Ashley Cole the red card (maybe Riley had some sympathy for poor Ashley given his missus had shown him the red card already) and Bennet wants to tell the world “It’s ok, the ref’s are back in charge”..

But then a player who organises a Christmas party for the opponents where wives and girlfriends aren’t welcome but 100 good looking girls are (and a gran for our Wayne); a party where things descend into a farce where one of the Utd players is alleged to have raped someone (he’s not guilty by the way), a player who ‘forgets’ to turn up for a drugs test, a player who’s material consumption puts him up there shopping like Posh Spice on speed, our one and only Rio, gets made Captain of England FC.

 And this is supposed to be a way of making a point to John Terry who ran over to the ref during the Riley incident. What fucking point is that then? Be a loony spending freak off the park, missing drugs test but organising orgies and its ok, but run over to a ref, and get stripped of the England Captaincy or get sent off by Steve “Thanks Alex I’ll be round tomorrow night for supper (fish supper) again” Bennet.

Now someone tell me how that works…

PS Anyway wasn’t Gerrard England Capt last time they played so I’m not entirely sure what the press are bleating on about.

Duck, its flying pigs and sensible words…

Sunday, March 16th, 2008

Well stone the crows, knock me over, I’ll go to the foot of our stairs (and/or Bootle) and duck, beware of flying pig droppings…

Along has come an article pointing out a few fascinating home truths about Rafa, Liverpool and a certain F. Torres. Alan Hansen last night on MOTD said ” I bet Benitez wished he played Torres more”, given that he’s missed about two games when fit…. not to mention a few other journo’s who ought to know better but don’t as they are wearing their red and black tinted specs…

Anyway Dion Fanning from the Irish Independent has written a lovely piece eloquently telling readers what many Liverpool fans have been trying to less eloquently point out for some time. Enjoy and cheers Dion.

“Sunday March 16 2008

‘It does make you wonder what he would have done if he had played more regularly.” Richard Keys said of Fernando Torres last Tuesday, entering a world of magic realism without the magic or, indeed, the realism. It was remarkable in itself that Torres’ stats of 26 goals in 35 matches had just been mentioned, because most broadcasters have only one thing in their heads when talking about Rafael Benitez.

It was also, perhaps, an indication of Benitez’s stubbornness that when he was asked a similar question by Sky’s Geoff Shreeves a few minutes later, he did not reply, “Well, Geoff, if you checked your facts you’d see that Torres has started every league and Champions League game since September.” He may have had to qualify this by adding, “when fit” because there are many in the media who seem prepared to criticise Benitez for not playing Torres even when he’s injured.

Instead Benitez played along, talking about rotation, unwilling, it appeared, to engage at any level with people whom he clearly feels serve no purpose when he is thinking about things like knocking the Italian champions out of the European Cup.

In fact, Sky’s question would more accurately be asked about Wayne Rooney. Why don’t we see more of him? Manchester United have lost more league matches than Liverpool this season and Rooney has missed every one of them, usually rested. Torres, who if Sky are to be believed is glimpsed as frequently as the Aurora Borealis, has played five games more than Rooney this season, but Benitez is the man who has to answer questions about rotation.

It is customary to see Tom Hicks get more credit for the purchase of Torres than Benitez. The American is usually praised for putting up £26m for the striker, although the fee was a lot less than that, and then the coverage usually proceeds along the lines that the signing was a no-brainer.

Last summer, Torres’s signing was questioned by many of those who now wonder why he doesn’t play more often. Arsene Wenger and Ferguson hesitated before Benitez signed the player for £16m, the same price Spurs paid Charlton for Darren Bent. The critics said he didn’t score enough goals — one every three games was his ratio at Atletico — and now, as he’s scored 26 (all of them from open play), they wonder why he doesn’t play more often.

To report it along the lines that Benitez had made the best signing of the summer and had played some part in developing a player regarded by some in Spain as a laughing stock would involve praising the Liverpool manager.

Of course, it is the Italian league and its failings that are the reason for Liverpool’s victory over Inter, according to the pundits who last week predicted that AC Milan — nearly 20 points behind Inter — would knock out Premier League leaders Arsenal.

The Italian league is decaying, but if it was wholly rotten, Real Madrid — eight points clear at the top of La Liga — wouldn’t have lost to Roma — six points behind Inter. There is always another reason for Benitez’ success; something they missed when writing him off beforehand but a factor beyond his control, something for which he deserves no credit. It was summed up perfectly by the journalist who appeared on Sky to talk about Liverpool’s first-leg victory against Inter. He wasn’t the only one who

seemed reluctant to acknowledge that the game had lasted 90 minutes, preferring instead to emphasis that Liverpool had struggled to score for 85 minutes before winning by two goals.

He seemed reluctant to concede that Liverpool had, in fact, won the game. “Goals,” he sighed, finally forced into some admission, “determine how we view matches.”

For the time being they do anyway and while goals and results shape matches rather than journalists, Benitez has a chance of continuing to be a success.”

http://www.independent.ie/sport/other-sports/skys-the-limit-when-it-comes-to-rotating-the-knife-into-benitez-1318987.html

Nerves? What nerves?

Tuesday, March 11th, 2008

Apparently all the lions were vegetarians and I had nothing to worry about.

Torres’ goal reminded me of Drogba’s v us, when he turned past Carra on a sixpence and scored, it was just beautiful and out of nothing. We’ve not had for a long time, it puts the wind up defenders as they really don’t know what’s going to happen.

Happy days and onto the last eight of the Champions League. Get in.

LFC v Inter Milan… nervous…

Tuesday, March 11th, 2008

 I’m a nervous as a lion tamer covered in BBQ sauce in a cage full of lions who like BBQs and its the first day of the Lion’s BBQ Season…

Liverpool 3 - Returning sons 0

Saturday, March 8th, 2008

Keegan, Owen, two names who have served Liverpool well in the past. One more welcome than the other on their return to Anfield, you choose.

Personally I don’t think any ex-player should be booed, Diouf included, they just shouldn’t get a welcome name chant. Save that for those who we still adore.

Keegan was a hero of mine when I was kid, and his partnership with Toshack was a wonder to behold. And now we have Torres and his favourite strike partner… Gerrard. Yep, not Kuyt, Crouch or Voronin (remember him).

In Rafa’s new toy formation, 4-2-3-1, Gerrard has his licence to roam that he’s always wanted and several other bit part players try to cross the ball with varying success to Torres (BOUNCE!). nb to any journalists watching. HE DIDN’T COST £26M!!!! But even if he did, he’s proving his worth.

For two points.

firstly, with him in the team, Rafa stops shaping Liverpool’s tatics to match other teams, and we play our own way, and let them deal with us,

secondly, he terrifies defenders into making mistakes and trying to handle him, leaving gaps for Gerrard etc.

I only wish we would get more players in the box in the vague hope that Pennant/Kuyt/Benayoun/Babel/Riise/Arbeloa/Aurelilililelaolia will cross it in to them.

Anyway Kevin looks less like the messiah and more like Herod as he continues to kill off Newcastle’s hopes of actually staying in the PL, never mind marching to Europe. the nearest he may get will be a booze cruise to Calais to drown his sorrows.

However they nearly scored with goal of the season, with a 45yrd shot that hit the crossbar. I was that bothered, I forgot who did it.

But we scored 3 and then Rafa decided to pack early for his city break to Milan, and took all us lot off, leaving Pepe and Lucas on to stop Michael.

So the Messiah and St Michael found no sanctuary in the Catholic halls of Benitez, I guess that makes Terry Mac, John the Baptist and Alan Smith a dirty cunt.

Bouncing is back.

Thursday, March 6th, 2008

From our song correspondent, Scully:

His armband proved he was a red TORRES TORRES
You’ll Never Walk Alone it said TORRES TORRES
We got the lad from sunny spain,
he gets the ball he’ll score again
FERNANDO TORRES LIBPOOLS NUMBER 9

BOUNCE!!!!

NANANANANANANAN NANA
NANANANANANANAN NANA
NANANANANANANANAN
NANANANANANANA
FERNANDO TORRES LIBPOOLS NUMBER 9

END BOUNCING

repeat from beginning.

Liverpool 4 - West Hammered 0

Wednesday, March 5th, 2008

So for the first time in 60 years, a Liverpool player has scored back to back hattricks at Anfield.

And Gerrard not wanting to be left out pops up with a 4th.

Fancy that, a settled side, playing well and gelling.. hmmm, best not say anything starting with the letter R and finishing with ‘otation’

Skretel impressed, and hopefully looks good for the future and I just hope Masch isn’t too injured for next week.

meantime the Messiah returns. I remember when Keegan was the lord at Anfield, when I were but a nipper. Bet he isn’t looking forward to his second coming on Saturday.

Speaking of 2nd comings, Torres has now turned 43% of male Liverpool fans gay.

In other news, some DIC tries Dubai us.

If you want next week’s lottery numbers…

Sunday, March 2nd, 2008

Yesterday my final thought was “1-3 to the tricky reds”. Well it came true, but I did hope we’d keep a clean sheet.

Never mind, 3-1 at the Reebok v Bernard Bresslaw’s team, who played well in the first 10 mins is a very good score when other smaller clubs like one from Manchester lost there not that long ago.

Babel looked great until he scored, then he looked bored, Gerrard looked tired at the end and my main worry about the 4-2-3-1 formation is that there are times when we don’t have enough players getting into the box, and also Dirk Fairclough isn’t a right winger. At all.

However, a couple of things of note.

1) we beat Portsmouth 4-1 at home after they’d won 8 games on the trot and Harry was unlucky according to the press, some smaller club in Liverpool beat them 3-1 and that’s because they’re a great team managed by a great manager

and

2) Liverpool sign a top striker, the club’s most expensive signing, and he scores, the fans erupt in noise and glee and sing “Torres Torres”

Everton sign a top striker, the club’s most expensive signing, and he scores, the fans erupt in noise and glee and sing…

a song about Steven Gerrard.

Bet Yakubu’s thrilled at his new club. Well I feel sorry for you tiny penis’ed petty small boys and your tiny shit club. Bless you all and may you one day grow up and support your own team. Bless.

LFC v Bolton Wounderers, tomorrow…

Saturday, March 1st, 2008

So Big Sam has left, little Sam has left and now they have Bernard Bresslaw in charge.

Traditionally they have been a bogey team not just for us but for Arsenal, and this season Man Utd. They claim to play hard, I claim they kick first, hopefully the ball’s there and if not, hey ho…

Well we need to win, as we do every game this season so far, just to maintain our race for the coveted and prized title of “4th spot”.

How ridiculous. When I were but knee high to Tommy Smith’s boot studs, Shankly pointed out that 2nd was nowhere. I can’t even remember who came 3rd, never mind Fourth.

I’m sorry about the f in fourth. Is what Rafa should be bloody saying. But a win’s a win, and on the road too. So trot on Liverpool, trot on past the Wanderers, the wounders and windups, and try and play some football.

We showed last week we can beat the teams lower down that we’re supposed to, so lets do it again.

1-3 to the tricky Reds.