Well here we are in July and Liverpool lost 4-2 on pens to Portsmouth in er Hong Kong actually. Wonder if they got that fuckin bell on board the aircraft.

Anyway 27/7/07 will be the date that everyone remembers as groundhog day. Having spent a lot of dollars (and I mean a lot, what with the exchange rate right now, our esteemed new owners must crying into their weetabix) on striking talent, we managed not put away a goal in the ol’ onion bag (le sac d’ognion for those enjoying the Gallic theme) over 90mins, and then carried on failing in the penalties.

Mind you no-one expect Yossi Bear to score a penalty, after all he comes from West Ham (see FA CUP a while back).

AND on this day, the sale of tickets to members of the get-up-stupidly-early-logon-only-to-be-thrown-off-2mins-before-the-tickets-go-on-sale Priority Club went on sale for Chelsea. Jeez, have we not just played them like last night or something ? Anyway the members paid £55 for the single privlige of wasting 2 hours of their time (one before the tickets went on sale, one during) not buying their tickets online. Or on the phone. Which now invites you to type in your fancard number cruelly raising hopes before throwing you off the phone.

Ah it’s good to be back.

Not the racing team but the coach who’s single job it is, is to pick the best football players from England and play them in their best positions.

Never mind die hard Reds, any 8yr old CM geek could tell you that Jamie Carragher without doubt had a fantastic season last year, and in particular, two matches: Barcelona and Chelsea.

Now if defending against two different types of teams like these two, defending quite brilliantly by the way, doesn’t tell you something of the man’s consumate skill, then nothing will.

Not even being preferred over John Terry by some as the best CB in the league.

Not even being consistently praised by players, managers and pundits.

No, let’s be honest. Obviously Ledley King and Wes Brown, both from Crocks-R-Us Hospital for the permanently lame, are both better players.

Obviously playing Carragher as RB because he’s a utility player (like using a kettle to boil an egg, it’ll work but not what its meant to do) is a good idea, so Jar Jar Binks can languidly do nowt next to John Terry. No wonder Terry looks excellent there, he’s either got ‘my-heads-in’ Rio or the Hobbling Bros next to him.

Jamie should put it like this.

“Steve, you’re an arse. But you won’t recognise it as an arse, preferring to place it on your elbow cos that’s its best position. Or your head.”