With rumours that ex-Red Kevin Keegan is being touted as the next Doncaster manager, that famous line immediately springs to mind:

‘I would love it if we beat them, love it!’

It is equally applicable to this day, but directed to the new kids on the block, Chelsea. Apart from the fact it has been far too long since we lifted the league Championship, I feel it is our duty to.

We need to show Chelsea that money isn’t everything; not in this beloved and unpredictable sport we all love. Frankly, I am sick of Chelsea. I am sick of their out-of-the-closet fans boasting their new-found success to the point of exasperation. I am sick of their roubles tearing footballers from their loyalties. I am sick of their manager’s arrogance. I am sick of seeing John Terry and Frank Lampard’s arms around one another’s shoulders in celebration.

OK, we don’t have the financial resources they have. Despite our massive improvement, we still can’t match their incredible strength-in-depth. Their second-string side would probably challenge for the title themselves. And, even more annoying, they have the individual brilliance to win games they don’t deserve to.

Can we match them? Of course we can – every step of the way. We have already managed to reduce the gap from 37 points to 9 and I seriously hope we have what it takes to continue the trend of progression and overtake them.

Fast-paced wingers, a Premiership-proven striker and further development on our tremendous defence – there is no doubt we are better than we were four months ago. Good enough for the title? Only time will tell.

We can’t discount fellow rivals. Manchester United have come out of the blocks flying and really laid their mark, with 10 goals in 3 games and 9 points out of 9. Despite this, I’m still reserving my judgement on a Manchester United side that I don’t think is better than it was last season, when they gave Chelsea a late scare.

Sure, Rooney looks like he is in the mood and they have Scholes and Solksjaer fit again, but any side in world football would miss Ruud van Nistelrooy’s goal input, especially when their only ‘replacement’ hasn’t played football for three years. In fact, their only summer signing is a poor-man’s Alonso, who strangely costs more than him, simply because of the fact that he’s English. He’s a decent prospect, but certainly no replacement for Roy Keane, which is what they truly require.

Arsenal can’t be discounted, either. But a net spend of -£0.2m speaks for itself, regardless of how well they’ve done within their limits.

Their squad has taken a bit of a bashing with the likes of Bergkamp, Pires, Campbell, Cole leaving, but they’ve bought well and can rely on youngsters to come through the ranks.

William Gallas is a remarkable defender, whose departure from Chelsea – along with Robert Huth – may cost them.

Julio Baptista is a player that Arsene Wenger has tracked for a while now, so he knows what he’s getting. If he can take some of the goal-scoring burden off Thierry Henry’s shoulders, he’ll be classed a success at the club. More importantly, he will give their play a different dimension that they have been crying out for. Have their wide-men remembered how to cross a ball?

Wenger will hope that another of his acquisitions, Tomas Rosicky, can get goals from the midfield that his side have lacked since Robert Pires and Freddie Ljungberg were regulars on their score-sheet.

I still don’t think they are ready though. They may well have some of the brightest prospects in football, such as Walcott and Fabregas, but I’m prepared to put my neck on the line and say that I don’t think they’re up to the task ahead. And I think Wenger would be inclined to agree. Their squad is not as strong as ours, Chelsea’s or United’s.

We have had a fantastic time under Benitez. During a so-called ‘transition period’, we won the Champions League and the FA Cup, as well as making serious progress in the league.

Now’s time to take what is ours and make the Championship our bread and butter once again. We need to make Anfield a fortress and dominate sides; beat fellow sides in the top three; not make silly errors; come away from tricky situations with the spoils, make sides fear and dread playing us and break this monopoly.

Sadly, the record books will never say that Chelsea have bought success, but with their new-found ‘Galactico’ policy, I hope the record books won’t show their name again, full stop. I hope they self-implode.

They have a top-class manager, despite what people say. OK, he’s had the aid of Abramovich’s cash to count on, but his record at Porto was also excellent and he has put together a side with a winning mentality. But how will their superstar names effect this inclination?

Are they too focused on European success?

Will they regret the departures of the likes of Crespo, Gudjohnsen, Duff et al who got them out of tricky situations on occasions last season?

Can Ballack and Shevchenko weather it out on a windy night against Portsmouth on a floodlit December evening?

Who knows? Personally, I am planning on taking a care-free approach. I am concentrating on Liverpool and Liverpool alone. We control our destiny, nobody else. Our success - rather than anybody else’s failures - bring us our triumph.

Football’s a simple game that is often overly complicated. Let’s keep it straightforward.

Our players have to have the right attitude. Stuff pundits’ doubts up their backsides. Ignore statistics that tell us things we really don’t care about. I don’t care where the goals come from, nor do I care how they come. We need to concentrate on building up as many points as possible and building up vital momentum.

We’re inferior to no-one. 11 on 11, we’ll always fancy our chances.

Put it back on our fucking perch.

Let’s be frank here. Dispense with the OOT/Locals/Wools debate and get down to the reality of the situation. No matter where you are from, surely there is no debate that the most important matches of the season for rivalry (never mind points/cups/titles) are these :

LFC v Everton and Everton v LFC

Well here it comes, the first one of the new season and I for one am delighted. Having been starved of meaningful football for a week or so (something called the Euro 2008 getting in the way), what better way to get back one’s appetite than with that juiciest of meals, the derby.

In case anyone needs reminding, it was 3-1 to us last year at Anfield. And at the theatre shed hovel of Wood Goodison, it was …. oh yes, that was it, 3-1. Get it right up you.

Usually the safest bet at Woodison is to place a large brown drinking voucher on one of the players being sent off (one of ours at home, one their’s at theirs), 4 of them being booked and Duncan Ferguson arriving for the last 5 minutes to get his annual yellow card. He’ll be there, even if he doesn’t play for them anymore. Witness the bookings for last year at ours:

Gerrard 17, Gerrard 18 (bye bye), Alonso 23, Kewell 34 and for them: Cahill 13, Stubbs 34, Kilbane 52, Weir 66, Van Der Meyde 73, Ferguson 76, Neville 86, Hibbert 90.

And when we crossed Stanley Park:

Cahill 20, Neville 56, Neville 68 (off to catch the early train home to watch big bruv play for a big team), Beattie 72, Arteta 88 , Arteta 90 (plainly mad) and for us: Kewell 65, Alonso 70.

Blimey even Harry gets booked and he tackles as well as Vladimir Smicer did.

Enough about them, let us whet the appetite with a reminder of last year’s games, 3-1 at Anfield: Neville og 45 (there is a god of comedy), Garcia 47, Kewell 84 all scoring for the tricky Reds.

And when we beat them away (3-1 in case you’d forgotten) : Crouch 11, Gerrard 18, Cisse 47 all scoring for a great victory.

Notice in both games how Phil Neville comes across from Manchester and upstages the occasion by getting a) sent off or b) booked and scoring an own goal. With Phil Neville to boo at, more yellow cards than an Easter Sunday Birthday and even the thought of Big Dunc flailing about like one of the big wind machines in the Bullens End (in for a week, out for a month, all together now), what’s not to love about the derby?

‘What do you make of Reina’s error on Saturday, Statler?’
‘It was disgraceful. Simply awful goalkeeping. I think the man is a liability. Remember his mistakes in the FA Cup final?’
‘I know, it was his fault for their second goal if I recall.’
‘Yeah… his save at the end and his heroics in the shoot-out were good though, weren’t they?’
‘Absolutely! He is a fantastic goalkeeper, in my eyes.’
‘Yep, one of the World’s finest.’

‘Sami Hyypia’s past his best though, isn’t he?’
‘He certainly is.’
‘I think we need to move on as soon as we possibly can and get the likes of Daniel Agger and Gabriel Paletta in the first team.’
‘Agreed. Hyypia’s simply not fast enough for the Premiership now.’
‘Well, his game has never been about having pace, has it?’
‘True… and I suppose he’s still fantastic in the air.’
‘Still among the best central defenders in the business, I reckon.’

‘Steve Finnan doesn’t get enough goals though, does he?’
‘Nah. He should be scoring more.’
‘Or at least getting more assists.’
‘Agreed. I can count the amount of assists he recorded last season on one hand.’
‘You would expect more from a full-back. Especially in a team with such tall centre forwards.’
‘Yeah, the centre forwards missed some good chances last season, if I recall, though.’
‘True. And he is a magnificent defender, is a decent outlet and always offers himself in the final third.’
‘And when he plays we’re always winnin’.
‘Best right-back in the Premiership last season, without a doubt.’

‘One thing that gets up my nose though, is Steven Gerrard.’
‘Yeah.’
‘I mean, when we are losing. He turns into Superman and thinks he can do it all.’
‘Yeah, he’s not the only person on the pitch! Someone needs to remind him at times.’
‘He did single-handedly win us the FA Cup and Champions League though, in his defence.’
‘Without a doubt. The best player in the whole World.’

‘That prison pair though, I am not sure about that.’
‘Craig Bellamy and Jermaine Pennant?’
‘Yeah, bringing in the good name of LFC down. Utter disgrace to the red shirt.’
‘Yes and they haven’t proven themselves at the highest level.’
‘Spot on.’
‘They do give the side a lot of pace, though and everyone deserves a second chance, I suppose.’
‘That’s true. Jermaine Pennant put in the most crosses than anyone else in the entire Premiership too.’
‘Wow! I didn’t know that… Bellamy was inspirational for Rovers as well, don’t forget.’
‘Shrewd buys the pair of them.’

‘But what about Sissoko… I think I can pass a ball better than him.’
‘I bet you could.’
‘Up against a top-class midfield, we could be punished with him giving the ball away all the time.’
‘God help us when we play Chelsea with their superstar midfield.’
‘Well, he did well enough in the Community Shield.’
‘True. He was better than anyone else on the pitch.’
‘His passing has improved greatly and nobody can deny his tackling and energy attributes are good.’
‘That much is certain! His physical presence helped us compete against tough sides last season.’
‘Yep, he’s the new Vieira. Better than him in fact.’

‘Luis Garcia should be shipped out as soon as possible.’
‘Yeah, he gives the ball away all the time. He is so incredibly frustrating that it isn’t even funny.’
‘He was in the Champions League run though.’
‘Inspirational, without a doubt.’
‘And we can always rely on him to score the winners against Chelsea in semi-finals!’
‘Yes! That’s true.’
‘What a great player he is.’
‘Definitely. A real match-winner.’
‘I’m so glad we have him.’

‘There’s no argument for Crouch though.’
‘What a stupid name for somebody so tall, eh?’
‘I know! But he’s no good, anyway. He doesn’t even look like a footballer.’
‘He looks more like a daddy long-legs.’
‘… I bet a daddy-long legs would be better in the air too!’
‘Well, he did score the winner against Chelsea with a header last month.’
‘Oh yeah, I remember that now.’
‘He’s great on the deck for someone so big, too.’
‘He’s revolutionised our forward line, if you ask me!’

‘What do you make of Salif Diao.’
‘Absolutely crap!’
‘…Yeah.’

What’s the point of starting the new season, then two weeks in there’s no footy tomorrow. Or Sunday at 9am, or Monday at 11pm, whatever…

Internationals, shminternationals, where’s me team, where’s the pre match nerves, pre match radio chat, pre match anything.?

This weekend I’m left with:

a) we didn’t sign Lucas Neillonyourankles

b) Jar Jar Ferdinand has hurt his toe and McLaren doesn’t want to upset Fergy

c) Andorra isn’t really a country, its a bloody rabbit.

Never mind, next weekend the war resumes with the Toffees, Everbad. It’s rare that I say roll on Monday…