In the wake of his fantastic 70 yard goal against Newcastle, Xabi Alonso has revealed the secret regime he was implemented to try and achieve a perfect long range hattrick. We caught up with the Basque sensation earlier:

RAWK: “So Xabi, you’ve scored with your left foot from your own half against Luton; you’ve scored with your right foot from your own half against the Geordies. All you need for the hattrick is a header from your own half!”

XA: “Si, it is something I have thought about. I have discussed it with Rafa and Pako and we think there are possibilities for me to do this.”

RAWK: “You’re joking, surely?”

XA: “No, I am practicing it in every training session. You have to try these things to make them happen. I have to strengthen my neck muscles and I have a special exercise I use to do this.”

RAWK: “Tell us about this.”

XA: “The physios have given be a neck brace and, how do you say, a rubber tension band? I loop this over the horns of one of my pet bulls and we have a pull of war.”

RAWK: “You mean a tug of war.”

XA: “Keep me out of your private life.”

RAWK: “And this is working?”

XA: “Yes it is excellent, soon I will have a neck like Mike Tyson.”

RAWK: “But even then you’re unlikely to get a chance, surely?”

XA: “I have a plan. I will wait in the centre circle in our half and wait for Stevie to hit one of his Hollywood balls from right wing to the left wing. I’ll throw myself at the ball and head it at the goal. If the opposition keeper is rubbish, I’ll score. We play Portsmouth in November so get your bets on.”

RAWK: “Thanks for your time Xabi and good luck!”

This entry was posted on Friday, September 22nd, 2006 at 7:52 pm and is filed under Players. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.