Are you a fan of football or a football fan?

September 14th, 2009

A member of RAWK who shall remain nameless recently posted something along the lines of “Help! There’s a Spurs fan who claims they’re better than Liverpool what do I say back?” or something along those lines….

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Fucks sake, honestly… call yourself a football fan? Or perhaps you’re just a fan of football…

You see, if you’re a football fan, you follow a club, you love that club and no matter how broad minded you are in life, when it comes to your team, you’re about as far sighted as Stevie Wonder’s coat stand.

I have friends who are fans of football. They admire the game, they appreciate the skills of say any number of players from any number of clubs, they can horror of horrors, sit down and watch any match and just enjoy it…

I can’t remember the last time I watched a match and didn’t have a preference, a need for one side to win.. You could post next week’s fixture list up and I’d tell you right now for each game who i’d want to win and why. Because I support Liverpool. Even the bloody world cup i can’t enjoy cos whichever team has the most links to Liverpool that’s the team for me.

 

If you’re not sure check this little guide out:

1. A football fan will defend his team at any and every opportunity irrespective of actual honours won (see Newcastle fans)

2. At some point they will also ridicule all their friends’ teams using creditable evidence such as Your defender looks like a girl

3. Your team’s song is a made up one to some other tune, not a national anthem.

4.  You care about the team passionately. You don’t need help to tell other teams’ fans to piss off. Especially when you’re a Liverpool fan.

Zonal marking

August 27th, 2009

I’m a fan of zen marking. Pitch up somewhere that feels right and you’ll be in the right place at the right time. Then again, I’m not a premiership defender with the world’s pundits breathing down my neck.

Liverpool and Rafa have long been variously pilloried, criticized and mocked (rarely admired) for the use of this system where a defender marks a zone, rather than a man. (Of course you esteemed readers already steeped in football tactics knew that).

Of course, its not the norm in English, or British football so as soon as we ship a goal or several (which yes we have this season, mostly from set pieces) the ol “Why on earth do they zonal mark at Liverpool?” grumbles surface.

Well do you know what. Stoke don’t have zonal marking. They lost 4 against us.

Man Utd don’t have zonal marking. They shipped 4 against us last season. So did Villa, well, 5 last year. This year they put 3 past us.

That’s what makes football brilliant and brilliantly frustrating. So piss off pundits of poor patter and pick on the real reasons, poor defending skills perhaps, unsettled defences possibly, zonal marking at times a thin maybe. But its not the system, its the people executing it.

Which is why I’m still pissed off at losing. I’m not making excuses here, we lost to Villa, but I’m not making excuses either that by changing the defensive system, we’ll suddenly be tighter than a *fill in your own crude punchline here*

As you were.

Liverpool 1-3 Aston Villa

August 25th, 2009

I know that reffereeing decisions are supposed to equal themselves out over the season, so I look forward to getting a soft penalty and a non-existent corner with a free goal attached. Oh and a penalty decision turned down on our side, and what else would I like? Oh a ref who doesn’t begrudge us.
That said, we lost, we argued and at times we looked like a petulant set of grumblers, a la Utd circa a few years ago.
Lucas wasn’t that good last night, there’s a problem or discord at the back and that was the first time we missed Xabi.
I blame myself as I said in the last match, Gerrard needed to trust Lucas a bit more and stop looking for the ball. But last night we lost. Unlucky, out of sorts and arrrrrggggghhhh especially as Martin O’Notagain is a smug ex-Notts Forrest player who winds me up.
so Rafa out again, Lucas to be sold next to that bad vampire bloke from Blade III (Voronin for those not aquainted with the Wesley Snipes canon)
maybe Man City and us have swapped roles, we’re the rollercoaster team this season. Then again Man Utd had 4 points from 5 games last season. then again we didn’t.
Hated last night. Hated it.

Liverpool 4 – Stoke the fires of indignation 0 the Monarch that is Glen.

August 20th, 2009

Disaster we lost to Spurs and the title race is over, 3 points already behind the pack, what a nightmare, see that Torres, he wants away, that’s clear from his body language, and Rafa, tie askew when normally pristine, Talksport say Sammy Lee is going to manage the team tonight, Rafa’s off and if its on talksport it must be right eh?

fuck off.

Last season we lost to Spurs and drew to Stoke. This season, we lost to Spurs and beat Stoke 4-0, whilst Manchester Utd lost 1-0 to Burnley. Ahem. That’s Burnley.

You can shove Talksprout/Talkshite/Cockspruffle up your ass so far every time you cough Alan Brazil tells you what time it is.

Unless Sammy Lee has got fatter (possible) and taller (unlikely) and grown a beard (nope that’s just not going to happen) it was Rafa standing and shouting at Torres last night.

First of all Glen Johnson was man of the Liverpool side for me. He made Dirk look like an intelligent footballer and showed us not since Marcus(and occasionally Steve Finnan) what happens when you get an attacking right back. Well I have to be honest, I thought he was unproven quality, I was a little worried about him, (not Finnan, he was smashing but kept heading off to film the Bourne films) but last night Johnson was excellent. Speedy, neat and tidy and apart from one moment late on when the big boys had gone to bed, he didn’t put a foot wrong.

Its rare to get a new signing settling in so quick and he looked like part of a team.

So 4-0. We’ve won the league, the reds are back, Rafa for king of wherever and Manchester Utd are going to be relegated. Until the next match. Who’d read the papers – actually, anyone with half a brain, anything than listening to shite on the radio.

Word of advice if you really insist on listening to a radio station stained by the purile jizz of Kelvin MacKenzie, you get what you deserve.

Oh, and Tony Pulis, stop wearing a baseball cap. You’re too old for that game mate. You look like a SAGA holidaymaker.

Spurs v Liverpool – 2-1 again.

August 19th, 2009

So groundhog day does work, except this time we looked like we’d not stopped playing since the last day of the season. And surely by now Carra has learnt the word for “Watch out that’s my ball you animal” in whatever language Skrtel growls in these days. Torres looked knackered, and whether we missed Xabi, or just were still in pre-season, the annoying thing is, we’ve got to win the league with one less match than the other idiots around us.
Droopy Redknapp is like Steve Bruce, a weird head and his teams do well against us. Still Spurs looked good at home and so long as they continue to play well against the other big 12 in the league we can consign this result to the bin. Oh, and if Rafa takes the piss out of ref at the end of the game, what makes that worse than Sir Alex doing it. Or *fill in any manager’s name*?

 

Anyway Babel didn’t look any different to last time. Gerrard should trust Lucas a bit more and wait for the ball and the defence should have a team building day out.

But Glen Johnson looked good and if we let him rove a bit more, that’d cheer me up no end.

Bring on Stoke, the team we drew too. But hopefully lets fucking tank em.

Xabi Alonso. Gone but not forgotten.

August 11th, 2009

No matter what we think of Rafa (do we still “in-trust” with him?) I still feel that his intention of swapping Xabi for Barry last season was wrong, and look what happened a year later. The cultured, admired and loved by us, midfielder (and probably more of a midfield general than Gerrard will ever be) got pissed off and wanted a move. Whatever the real-behind-the-scenes reasons were, to me, Xabi (as other players have also done) didn’t feel wanted enough by Rafa and he went. With his little beard and his Aha lookalike skills, he headed to the in front of the scenes of Real. To play with Ronaldo. As much as I hate the tanned one, what a combination. Alonso, the sniper pass and the dancing pony on the other end of it.
So adios our half way scorer, our Istanbul equalizer, our one player beyond Gerrard and Torres that really really was fucking good on the ball. Really good. You know what I mean. And now apart from Fernando and Stevie, where do the silky soccer skills lie? Aquiliana (isn’t that expensive bottled water or somethin?) – who knows.

Sometimes I miss Lil Luis Garcia and his wayward ways. Sometimes I miss the lightweight who knows what the fuck will happen – be it Luis or Jari or Harry (or anyone ending in eee apart from Jersy) but I always miss the really good imaginative player that other teams wanted on their side – the really top notch consistent player And Xabi for us last season was up there with the best. Bye and adios Xabi, you will always have my respect. Especially for the Luton cup game. ha get in, that’s what football memories are about.

New season a coming…

August 9th, 2009

Apparently the Community Shield was played today with some team in blue and one in red and other colours… Luckily I’ve still got my utter ignorance deflector shield installed from the end of last season and the game passed me by with nary an eavesdrop. Apparently Fergie got cross at some goal, some fatter bloke scored for either side and Michael Ballack got cross with another European player. Plus ca change… roll on next week when we play Spurs. Oh we did at the end of last season too. And now they’ve two Liverpool strikers playing for them – Crouch and Keane, and Droopy as manager. Still, he’s Louise’s uncle so credit where’s it due.

Lets hope Spurs don’t repeat the feat of last Nov when we went one up, looked certain for a win then lost it, we need to hit the ground running. oops cliche already and its hardly August. Still, time to gear up the blood pressure and eyes down for a full house. as it were.

Across the Finnish line.

May 27th, 2009

So the close season arrives as does the closing of another Scandinavian hero’s time at Liverpool. Woah Sami Sami…

The Sami singers will miss him, we all will. Sami Hyypia was a reminder that not all top footballers are fancy dan lightweights with trick shots and step overs. Some of them have the forehead of a mountain cliff and score against Juventus.

You can read elsewhere the stats the goals, the games played blah, the true measure of a man for me is how we the Kop love him. Lasting longer than ol puffy cheeks, the unsung hero Henchoz, Sami carried on playing and giving Alan Hansen an erection, for ten years. In these days of speed, pace and swift playing, Sami, not the fastest, was only really outstripped once truly, by Drogba when Chelsea beat us 4-1. And it turns out he had flu and had been sick. Sami that is…

Anyway my memories are of him charging up field with the ball when opponents stood off to ‘park the bus’ at ours. He was like a cow with a gun. What the fuck was he going to do? He’s no Agger. He’d get over the half way line and then pass it short and trot back to remind us that most opponents’ strikers were in his pockets.

Good with headers, he was perhaps more surprised than us when he scored, but we sang his name, every week and when he ran on with his laces undone and clapped us, or gave up the captaincy and got on with the job, he reminded me of an old style no nonsense defender.

Good luck at Leverkusen mate, I’m not sure we’ll see his like again. And yes we’ll miss him. Reliability to the Finnish. To the end.

woah Sami Sami, Sami Sami Sami Hyypia…

Thank you Stephen Warnock (oh and Liverpool 4 – 0 Blackburn)

April 12th, 2009

In this week of commemoration, there will be many gestures and comments and emotional moments, but there can’t be many better ways to start than the presentation of a wreath from the opposing team carried by an ex Liverpool player.

Blackburn’s Stephen Warnock carried a wreath with 96 on it and laid it at the foot of the Kop to massive and deserved applause.

There followed an immaculately observed minute’s silence followed by us beating them 4-0.

But that doesn’t really matter does it. When Alan Hansen’s eyes welled up on MOTD, 20 years on the memories still fresh, you know where the real issues lie.

It will be a long and hard week and sadly many will use the anniversary as emotional currency portraying just how grief stricken and angry they are, but the simple fact remains, in this week, we should all pause and be grateful it wasn’t us, be angry at the continued injustice and send our heartfelt wishes to the bereaved families.

Benny and the Reds.. apologies to Elton.. Fulham0 – 1 Liverpool

April 4th, 2009

Now Mr E. John formerly chair of Watford Football Club obviously had another London club in his heart but tonight I’d like to dedicate Benny and the Jets to Yossi, from a London club, scoring for us against another one, whilst Super Dan got taken off and 4 ex-Everton players came on to try and stop us winning the game the mancs couldn’t. And they nearly did.

The woodwork was hit more times than Big Frank was v Tyson (or insert a more up to date boxing analogy here) and Torres seemed to make his shot destined first for the corner flag then the goal then the post as if time and space and the bits in between were bent according to some arcane rule..

I thought and so did Radio 5 (and many of us I don’t doubt) that it was going to be “…one of those days…” and we’ve all seen them at Anfield. My first one was when we drew to Sunderland years ago, well a few, 0-0 and Sunderland and the goalie of the time (Jaaskalinen? can’t remember) had the game of his life.

And I thought today was one of them. But no, Lady Fortune, or Earl Skill was up and wearing our scarf today and we won.

We drew to Fulham at ours, they’ve drew with Chelsea, beaten Manchester Utd and Arsenal and so they’re not a small time London club, Hodgson has made them play well and at times they played quick one touch triangles that was nice to see. If we weren’t playing them that was.

But we won and I’ll take that and now dig out my I love Villa t-shirt and put it on a passer by. What you think I’d wear claret? Get to…